TwiMoms are incredible human beings. Although there's nothing we at forks_it have against them in principle, they keep doing things that are just… fascinating. And when I use that word, I don't mean fascinating in the way that, say, Nietzsche is. It's more like a Rotten.Com kind of fascinating. And while my friend Friedrich wrote some really intriguing material, it pales in comparison with what these ÜberMoms churn out on a daily basis.
Today we're going to be taking a trip into a Members Only portion of the forum, so this may be an eye-opening experience for most of you. And again, when I use the word “eye-opening", I don't want you expecting beautiful planetary nebulae kind of eye-opening. It's… a bit different.
I'm posting screencaps taken by a reliable mole. The identity of this insider is being kept a secret, because as massively intelligent, dazzlingly sexy, and incredibly witty she is, we can't risk revealing her identity for worship at this time. And no, I'm not talking about Rhonda.
Without any further ado, here is a trip into the ♥ HOTTIES ♥ forum.
There is a warning/greeting for this specific forum. PG-13 content only, which I find an interesting rating limit for a community specifically designed for women 25+.
No cracks! No danglers! Yeah, they really are moms.
This is what the main forum looks like, just for a tasty selection of their numerous topics.
The highlighted thread is the Edward/RPattz one, of course, which I want you to notice is the third of such, and was up to 183 pages at this point in time. I'm sure it's well surpassed this number by now.
But don't worry, the ♥ HOTTIES ♥ forum is not just for Twilight related hotties. No, the hottie goodness extends to even such delectable manboys as Zac Efron and yes, that Harry Potter kid, Daniel Radcliffe:
TwiMoms also enjoy tasteful fashion editorials. They also enjoy browsing the forums in front of their 6 year old children! These two statements shouldn’t be related, but they are.
Lisa just thinks she had an… oh, you know what she means. And Belovedlady needs to find him. She's hot and single, so… watch out!
Here's a peek into the abyss that is the Daniel Radcliffe thread. SO glad he has come of age!
Some clever innuendo!
But as manly of a man as Danrad is, Mcnabbygirl still keeps her keen sense of morality about her. Cuz naked is a bad example, guys!! Too bad she can't keep her keen sense of ‘roll' vs. ‘role' about her.
But let's get to the main event, shall we? The big tent at this circus. The Robert Pattinson thread. I started at the beginning, and I haven't even gotten through the whole thing yet. So this is an early selection. If you enjoy this batch enough, it'll become a regular feature. Because the internet has a right to be seeing this.
Alright, so, Amberlu will start off the thread. With a dream about Robert.
Glitterskin suggests something intriguing. They're like some freaky stalker group.
Just as Amberlu's conscience starts to kick in and she doesn't want to be “associated with some freaky stalker group", their fears are calmed by some stunning logic. And by logic, I mean... well, you know by now. Not logic. Tough tootsies!!
You know that "above the influence" commercial? Where the dog tells the girl that he doesn't like her when she does pot? That is what this post by Jenniesmith made me think of:
On the plus side, Queenofmycastle does take a break from her nougat comparisons to shed a little reason on their febrile posts.
And then Stormie throws it all back to hell.
Shabbyapple shares her plans to avoid looking like a creeper by looking more like a creeper.
And then calls them all cougars.
ZZRdee thinks she's in love with him and desperately seeks validation in numbers.
No, she's serious. She has a problem. Jdzca thinks it'd only be a problem if RPattz were obtainable, because then she would have to get a divorce. So, you know, there.
They are soooo not creepy, you guys. It's totally not a neurosis when it just, you know, interferes with their health and routine.
Oh, and in case you forgot they were adults.
It's getting hot in hurr, so…
This is all I had time for today, but I hope you’ve enjoyed this field trip into the caverns of the TwiMoms forums. I know I did… in that way that I enjoy Discovery Health specials on elephantiasis.