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04 January 2009 @ 11:49 pm
OMFG NEW MOON CASTING!!  
SUMMIT RELEASES NEW MOON CAST AND CREW!!
REPORTED BY SUZY/suzyx & CRYSTAL/petitebelette




THE CAST

Aro...Will Ferrell
Because: He just uses everything at his disposal. The movement, the music. The only vampire to win four national championships and an adult film award.




Caius...Judy Dench
Because: She's old. Really old.




Marcus...Will Smith
Because: The cast wasn't ethnic enough. He says things like damn, shit and that is whack.




Jane...Gilbert Godfrey (in a wig)
Because: Someone was high.




Alec...Orlando Bloom (on his knees (harhar) because he's a kid, not because he's... ugh, disgusting.)
Because: Just because.




Demetri...Stephen Colbert
Because: He'll fuck you up.




Felix...Ryan Seacrest
Because: BECAUSE HE'S EVERYWHERE AND INESCAPABLE. His frosted tips bring fear into the hearts of humans.




Heidi...Shia LaBeouf (he's too sexy for a wig)
Because: He's sexy.




Gianna the receptionist...Robert Pattinson
Because: We said so.




Seth...Robert Pattinson
Because: WE SAID SO.




Leah...Robert Pattinson
Because: WE SAID SO.




God...Morgan Freeman
Because: ...




Jacob...Taylor Lautner AND Michael Copon
Because: OUR BUS IS FULL.




Sam...Hairy Michael J. Fox/Teen Wolf
Because: He's hairy.




Jared...Robert Pattinson
Because: We said so.




Paul...Robert Pattinson
Because: We said so.




Johnny Depp...Captain Jack Sparrow
Because: Savvy.




Emily...Robert Pattinson
Because: WE SAID SO.




Quil...Some Guy Who Thinks He's Wolverine
Because: Got it, bub?




Embry...Geico Caveman
Because: So easy a caveman could do it.



THE CREW

Catherine Hardwicke...NOT the director




Ashton Kutcher...Executive Producer
 
 
 
i could be yours, if you would be mine: twilight rpattz dick in a boxsearchtheskies on January 5th, 2009 04:55 am (UTC)
BWAHAHAHAHAH. LOVE IT.
Suzy: That 70s Show- Kelso BUUURN! by elena_hesuzyx on January 5th, 2009 04:57 am (UTC)
I can't wait to see how Taylor and Michael tackle the role.
I turned those gentle hands into fistsazulskies on January 5th, 2009 05:05 am (UTC)
you are hilarious! ♥
What about Lewis?rundancefreak on January 5th, 2009 05:06 am (UTC)
omg i love you guys so hard for this right now.




although suzy, no bale? really?

and maybe some tomstur creepage?





I needed a laugh. you guys are AMAZING
Suzysuzyx on January 5th, 2009 05:12 am (UTC)
Per Crystal, Bale will star in Eclipse as every newborn vampire. Yes, CGI will be used to create an army of Bales.
What about Lewis?rundancefreak on January 5th, 2009 05:15 am (UTC)
IT'S GENIUS I TELL YOU.


can one of the Bales be dressed as a newsie?
Crystal: cbale: i win.petitebelette on January 5th, 2009 05:18 am (UTC)
ALL of the Bales will be dressed as newsies. All except for one, who will be dressed as Jesus.
What about Lewis?rundancefreak on January 5th, 2009 05:31 am (UTC)
you should know that i literally laughed out loud at that.

and i think i might love you.....*shifty eyez*
Crystal: rpattz: swaggerpetitebelette on January 5th, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)
HAHA glad I could deliver some funnies. XD
Adair7: R&K - adair7 on January 5th, 2009 07:14 am (UTC)
yes. i would see this film.
Suzysuzyx on January 6th, 2009 12:44 am (UTC)
I think it would be a very good movie. :D
ourhorror on January 5th, 2009 06:02 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHHA BRB LAUGHING FOR FUCKING EVER.
nit(ya): gg; silver burns our mouthsasweetdownfall on January 5th, 2009 06:57 am (UTC)
LOLZ.

YOU FTFW.
o[liv]iablahblahologist on January 5th, 2009 08:32 am (UTC)
The cast wasn't ethnic enough. He says things like damn, shit and that is whack.

SHIT SON
Marscatalysted on January 5th, 2009 09:03 am (UTC)
ROOOOOOOOFLLLL. *worships you* HEEHEE.
Catherinewednesdayscat on January 5th, 2009 09:40 am (UTC)
Too fucking funny! I needed that, thanks bbs! XD
Irissleepall_day on January 5th, 2009 09:44 am (UTC)
AHHHHHHH SO AMAZING. AHAHAHAHA. This is totally real, right, Crystal? This is really what we'll be seeing in theaters, right?
Crystal: tli: a horror filmpetitebelette on January 5th, 2009 05:38 pm (UTC)
Yes. It is. We only report the facts here.
twilighttwitchtwilighttwitch on January 5th, 2009 03:55 pm (UTC)
This is... hilarious. thank you for making my day.
What about Lewis?: They liked itrundancefreak on January 6th, 2009 03:01 am (UTC)
I hope will smith writes some chart-topping hip hop tune, to be played while everyone wears ray bans in the end credits.
Crystal: chuck: cutiepetitebelette on January 6th, 2009 03:18 am (UTC)
A Volterra version of 'Miami' maybe?
spaceteeth.: Robert Pattinson - he tastes delicious!annieohhhhyes on May 28th, 2009 04:41 pm (UTC)
it makes sense that the only reason edward loves seth so much is because it's like looking in a mirror. self centered bastard.